My last example is Beth, a 53-year-old woman, with disabling hot flashes, a dwindling sex life and a bad case of "nerves". Her husband had to retire early and is unhappy and listless at home. Her 17-year-old son is her last child at home and they can't seem to agree on anything. Her son's behaviour constantly upsets her husband. Her daughter just went through a traumatic marriage breakdown. She finds herself spending a lot of time baby-sitting her daughter's two-year-old or trying to help her daughter sort out her life. In addition, she has just started a small crafts business from her home.

Conclusion

Stress is not always harmful. It is the amount of stress and the way you handle it that can have a negative effect on your health. Dr. Selye defined stress as the "rate of wear and tear within the body". When we are confronted with stress, the body goes into a "flight or fight" response. This stimulates a whole set of chemical, physical and psychological changes in the body that prepare it to cope with a threatening situation. This response is fine if you have just met a mother bear with cubs while on a camping holiday, but not if you are caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic and late for an important appointment.

In the last case, it is impossible for you to act to avoid the situation but your body is still geared up for action. In the case of repeated or prolonged stress, the body's functions never go back to the normal non-stressed level. It is this kind of stress which produces wear and tear in the body and predisposes you to stress-related diseases. It is also this kind of stress response that, with practice, you can learn to modify or alter.

But the first step in dealing with stress is to recognize that you are under stress. Look at your life realistically and identify all possible sources of stress. Look at how you handle stress, and whether this is a problem for you or not. Look for obvious causes of stress as well as the more subtle, like unspoken expectations, guilt and self-blame.

Remember, that stress is a fact of life, but doesn't have to be a way of life.

Resources:

THE FEMALE STRESS SYNDROME, How To Be Stress-Wise In The 90's, (Newmarket Press, 1991), by Dr. Georgia Witkin-Lanoil is a highly practical and readable book.

WOMEN PAID/UNPAID WORK AND STRESS. This excellent booklet is available free from The Canadian Advisory Council on the Status of Women, Box 1541, Stn B, Ottawa, ON, K1P 5R5, by asking for No. 89-S-155 in your request letter.

THE JOY OF STRESS, by Dr. Peter Hansen. A practical and humorous book on how to handle stress.

LIFE 101, by Peter McWilliams and John Roger (Prelude Press Inc. 1991), Subtitled "Everything We Wish We Had Learned About Life in School- But Didn't." An excellent and entertaining book loaded with useful and practical information. Can also be ordered by calling 1-800-LIFE-101.