Sleep, Activity And Playing

The unborn child also has a highly individual pattern of sleep and activity that its mother usually becomes aware of. After birth this information can be useful to mothers, although for some reason, mothers tend to forget that this is the same baby they knew so well in the womb.

Even in the womb, the child can socially interact in the form of a game. "I play with my baby," one mother said. "I push with one finger and the baby pushes back."

A question as yet left unexplored is the physical and emotional effect of the baby's thoughts and feelings on the mother.

How Your Feelings Affect The Baby

For their part, mothers have always worried about the effects of their emotional state on the baby. Throughout pregnancy, mothers usually experience emotions ranging from fear, anger, depression, and sadness to hope, joy, and anticipation. None of these feelings damages the fetus.

However, violent rage or grief over death of a loved one may be detrimental to the fetus. If you happen to be experiencing that special kind of intense emotion, some therapists suggest you talk to your baby and explain, for example, that you are not angry at it but at another person or situation.

Inevitably, the great hormonal shifts that occur during pregnancy have a profound effect on your emotions. Your emotions may seem magnified; your reactions, sometimes, out of control. You may not be able to cope the way you used to. You may be more vulnerable to violent and upsetting images on television or in the movies.

This is the time to go easy on yourself and explain your situation to your baby. Accept the validity of your emotions. Work through them the best you can. Remember you may not be able to work through every issue. You may just have to surrender to this heightened state of emotional awareness.

If you want to explore your feelings further, I suggest you use workbooks like PREGNANT FEELINGS, or AN EASIER CHILDBIRTH, listed below. Relationships are often under stress during pregnancy and major issues may come up. Sometimes, a sympathetic therapist can be very helpful for both partners.

As much as you are able, surround yourself with calm, tranquillity and beauty. Set aside relaxation time every day and during that time talk to the baby, expressing your love, hopes and fears.

Fascinating discoveries are being made into the hitherto secret world of the unborn. This new knowledge ought not to make parents feel guilty or fearful. What really counts most to any child, whether unborn or not, is the warm love and devotion of its parents.

Connecting With Your Unborn Child

• BABIES REMEMBER BIRTH, AND OTHER EXTRAORDINARY SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERIES ABOUT THE MIND AND PERSONALITY OF YOUR NEWBORN, 1988, by Dr. David Chamberlain. This book presents startling new evidence of just how much a newborn knows and feels, and how newborns are actually aware of their birth.

• THE SECRET LIFE OF THE UNBORN CHILD, 1981, by Dr. Thomas Verny. This book is written by the psychiatrist who is the founder of the Pre and Perinatal Psychology Association of North America. In it, he demonstrates that the unborn child is deeply influenced by its environment well before birth, and explores the significance of that fact.

• NURTURING THE UNBORN CHILD A NINE MONTH PROGRAM FOR SOOTHING, STIMULATING AND COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR UNBORN BABY by Dr. Thomas Verny and Pamela Weintraub, 1991. This is a practical guide for couples to encourage the emotional development of their unborn child throughout the pregnancy. Verney has a nine month program of "Womb Harmonics" laid out in a very organized and concise fashion, from which parents can choose what appeals to them.

• BONDING BEFORE BIRTH, A GUIDE TO BECOMING A FAMILY, 1991, by Leni Schwartz. Author Jean Houston says of this book, "The clear directives and luminous suggestions... can result in a whole new way of becoming wise and loving parents." The book gives breathing and relaxation exercises to nurture the child within, to explore the environment and experience of the unborn child and to explore the transformation of birth.