Releasing Reoccurring Thoughts And Worries:

While in one of the relaxed states induced by one of the above exercises or your own methods, try the following:

Imagine writing your thoughts on a big black board and then erasing them.

Imagine saying your thoughts aloud into a tape recorder and then erasing the tape.

Locate the feeling in your body and change its texture, colour or location.

It is essential to practise at least ten minutes every day whatever method seems best for you. After you have become skilled at relaxing, practice every time you are confronted with a stressful situation.

If none of these techniques works for you, figure out what does, whether it's sitting quietly, reading, gardening, doing a crossword, listening to favourite music, singing in the shower, walking, stretching, dancing, or just puttering about. Become your own relaxation expert.

Don't Let Frustration Build Up

The ninth step is to avoid letting frustration build up. Devise your own methods of release. Write in your journal, arrange a family meeting, plan an evening for just you and your partner, take up your grievances with the boss, get together with an old friend and talk it out, and if all else fails, beat a mattress with a baseball bat. Stuffing your feelings down (the old grin and bear it routine) contributes to ulcers, high blood pressure and asthma as well as premenstrual syndrome, depression, infertility and eating disorders.

Respect your feelings and don't judge them. You might not want to acknowledge strong or unpleasant feelings, but they are yours and if you are friendly to them they won't overstay their welcome.

Never Hesitate To Get Professional Help

The tenth step is never hesitate to get professional help if nothing else is working for you and you don't know where to begin to sort out your life. Make sure the person is someone you trust and feel comfortable with.

Develop A Support System

Nourish your friendships, especially with other women. Make sure you set up a support network of friends, family, co-workers and neighbours that you can call on for help without feeling the least guilty. Arrange to share household tasks, cooking and child care with other parents. Arrange for friends to take the kids for a week or weekend and do the same for them.

I Forgive Myself For Everything

The eleventh step is to repeat to yourself everyday, "I forgive myself for everything" and mean it. Trying to be the perfect wife, mother and wage earner, and look like Jane Fonda too, is a sure path to insanity.

Laugh A Lot

Cultivate a sense of humour. When all else fails laugh at yourself. Humour provides instant relief and gives you a different perspective of the situation.